


"I'm sorry ... I miss you" [Logince]

by Sammy_is_obsessed



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, Logan - Freeform, Logic, Logince - Freeform, Love, M/M, Roman makes it better, Romantic Logince - Freeform, Sanders Sides - Freeform, he misses his boo, my boi Logan does a sad, my speciality am I right?, roman - Freeform, thomas sanders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 10:06:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15749490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy_is_obsessed/pseuds/Sammy_is_obsessed
Summary: Logan hadn't meant to exit the room, and he hadn't meant to go into the bedroom either. He wasn't supposed to pick up his cell phone and he certainly shouldn't have dialed Roman's number. He felt at war with himself, a battle inside of his mind, half of him reminding that Roman was sleeping at that it was late, and the other begging him to continue, desperate. He gripped the phone tightly, breath catching as the ringing ended and he heard a click. He felt like he couldn't breathe."Logan?" Roman's voice was tired, still layered with sleep and exhaustion. Oh god, he had woken him up. What was he thinking?! He didn't know what he was doing. His chest felt so tight, his thoughts seemed so jumbled, but the sound of Roman's voice made his heart melt."Roman ... hello ... I-I apologize for waking you. I ... sorry. I'll go-." His voice hitched with hesitation, face flush with embarrassment as he was about to end the call five seconds into it, like a prank-caller retreating when the joke had fallen flat."No, no. Wait, hang on," Roman interrupted with a yawn, beginning to become more alert, Logan could hear him shifting in bed, his voice still groggy, "What's going on? Are you alright, babe?"





	"I'm sorry ... I miss you" [Logince]

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a human AU for you guys. Some good ol' Logan angst, but the endings pretty free out that so it's alright. I adore your guys' comments and would love to hear what you think. Thank you and enjoy.

(A/N:) Human AU ooooh. Some good ol' Logan angst, but the endings pretty free out that so it's alright. Enjoy.

Third Person P.O.V:

The lights were dimmed low as Logan paced well-worn circles into the carpeting, the mechanisms inside his mind seeming to be working overtime tonight. It was well past midnight now, far later than Logan hardly ever stayed up. He always insisted on keeping as healthy of a sleep schedule as he could manage, trying to get an optimal amount of rest. Being a high school teacher and having to wake up at an insufferably early time in the morning was another incentive to go to bed early rather than late so that he wasn't much resembling a zombie in front of his students. But tonight, was different, and though he wanted to, sleep didn't seem like it was in the cards for Logan. His mind was far too swelled with thoughts, thick and full like a storm cloud before a rainy day.

He had tried to get himself into a calm mindset, to remain logical and as reasonable as he would be any other time – but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. For one of the first times in his life, he was the victim of his emotions, allowing his feelings to get the better of him without his consent.

Logan had never been like this, so caught up in contemplation to the point where sleep wasn't even a consideration any longer. About an hour or so before he had tried to lay in bed and shut the lights out, but with no success. He felt ... cold ... and lonely, constantly glancing at the empty spot beside him, irrationally and desperately wishing for it to be filled. He didn't like the way he was feeling now, not in the least bit. It wasn't like him, Logan was hardly feeling like himself at all. Perhaps that was because he was feeling all too much.

Before he met Roman, issues like this had never occurred. He hadn't ever felt the need to be reliant on another person. He had, for many years of his life, prided himself in his independence and lack of a need to be attached to someone romantically. He didn't see it in his future, not at all, really. He had his work, which he derived great pleasure from. Truly he adored educating the youth, seeing the glint in a child's eyes when they came to find a love of learning. Though he didn't believe in anything of the sort, Logan almost felt as though he could describe it as magical. He had his friends, and though he was not a part of a massive circle, the few that he had were close and good, ones who had been present in his life since mid-high school. His companions, his work, and his “slight” soft spot for Crofter's Jam, though that was deemed unimportant, had been the things that filled his life with meaning and joy. For so long it had seemed like that was all that he could ever possibly need ... that was until he met Roman, and his life, for a lack of a better term, turned upside down.

He'd met the theatric man through Virgil and Patton, apparently, a childhood friend of the two who had moved away when they were children but was someone who they had both remained in steady contact with. When he decided to move back to their area of Florida he was immediately reinitiated into their friend group without a moments' hesitation, something that at first, alarmed Logan.

Of course, he wouldn't have complained about it to his friends. He really did care about them deeply and he couldn't bear to imagine hurting their feelings by expressing that he was wary of the idea of a stranger to him entering their tight-knit circle. He was an adult for Christ's sake, and he knew he needed to drop this childish fear that swelled in his stomach, because for whatever reason, Roman had initially made him feel quite uneasy.

At the time, he couldn't be sure what it was. He knew that Roman and his dynamics were very different, clashing at times. Roman was bold and brash, someone who strived for creativity and flourished in the theatre. These were not things that Logan necessary understood, and their clashing mindsets could spark interesting debate between them to say the very least. Overall, though, it did not take long for Logan to come to understand that there were commonalities between them and things that they could connect on. He saw a possibility of a friendship forming between them, and Virgil and Patton seemed to have the same idea. They couldn’t always keep as close an eye on their friend as they may have liked to, but the couple saw a connection forming between Roman and Logan even before they themselves had.

Even with these possible connections, there was something about Roman that made him feel so restless. Maybe it was that cocky smile or the flirtatious teasing glint in his eye that seemed ever-present. At the time, he couldn't make it out, didn't understand, and not understanding was something that frightened Logan a great deal. He didn't like to be left in the dark when it came to knowledge, and so he sought out an answer.

It took a great deal of time and observation of Roman's behavior as well as his own before he came to a clear-cut conclusion: he had developed feelings for Roman Prince. Logan could not figure out which had been more daunting, the knowledge he now had acquired about his attraction or the uncertainty that had been present beforehand. He hadn't a clue what to do with himself; he hadn't thought he was originally going to get along with Roman at all, after all. Now he, someone who was hardly accustom with his emotions, sometimes referred to as "robotic" by others, was being swamped in feelings that he did not know how to analyze, did not understand how to process. Logan, at first, had decided to ignore it, hoping that the feelings would shrivel up and perish and then things could get back in order again. Things weren't that easy, though, they rarely ever are.

Roman had noticed a peculiar change in Logan's behavior and had voiced his concerns to his friend, becoming, though he didn't entirely want to admit it, seriously worried. Logan hadn't meant to confess how he felt then and there, he hadn't meant to confess ever, but with the way Roman looked at him, with such genuine and deep concern he couldn't help but let it slip, directly followed by an apology, because that's what Logan had seriously believed: that he needed to apologize for his feelings. Never in that intelligent mind of his had he configured that perhaps Roman felt just the same until he was met with a kiss square on the lips, one that changed everything.

Their relationship – yes, relationship, the word slightly frightened Logan, even now – started out mellow and slow, as not to overwhelm Logan. He hadn't ever done this before and so it was baby-steps figuring everything out. In many ways, it felt as though he was learning a foreign language, and to that Roman would often tease, "Yes, the language of love~." His teasing always managed to leave Logan a blushing mess.

Things slowly began to fall into place. Their oppositions seemed to forge into something new, their differences connecting them rather than conflicting them. More and more with each passing day, the two discovered more about each other and themselves as the relationship continued to strengthen. Eventually, things just felt ... right, though Logan never did think that saying so was in any way the correct terminology. Through many long conversations after about a year of dating the two of them had decided to move in together, and this was the first time Logan had ever had someone to share his space with in that way. Though it was wildly different from what he was used to, it was also an arrangement that filled him with contentment.

Little things about Roman became noticeable to him, like the way he was practically useless in the morning before his first cup of coffee or the way he would hold Logan's hand for no reason or lay his head on his shoulder when they sat beside each other. He liked the look on Roman’s face when he’d done something to please him. He adored making him happy, just as much as Roman loved making Logan happy. Truly it was a beautiful thing, both of them discovering so much about one another. But beauty can be a double-edged sword, and that edge came in the form of deception. Logan could tell when Roman was nervous about something quite easily, as well as when he was lying.

One particular evening he had asked Roman if anything was wrong. His boyfriend had flashed a charming smile, saying that nothing was the matter, unfortunately, a clear-cut sign that he wasn't telling the truth. Logan had pushed him on it, encouraging him to tell the truth, even throwing in the fact that Patton would hate to know that he was lying. Blackmailing was never something Logan would turn to, but in this moment, he was desperate, and, admittedly, afraid. Because in truth there were moments when their relationship felt too good to be true, and if something was the matter with him, or with them being together, then Logan would rather know that than be fed lies. Eventually, he got it out of him. Roman had gotten a role in a prestigious play and this was to be the biggest gig that he had ever gotten.

The only problem was, the location of this play was out of town and he would be away for a full three months. He had only lied because Roman had been afraid to tell Logan, scared to rock the boat with his news after they'd gotten settled into such a healthy rhythm. He had said then that he didn't even know if he was going to take the job. Logan, someone who knew positively nothing about acting other than the fact that his boyfriend adored it, that it was his very livelihood, was the one to encourage him to take it. Because despite everything, he knew that Roman would regret it if he didn't, this was "the role of a lifetime" as he had put so eloquently, and Logan did not feel like he was in the position to stand in the way of that.

To say the very least, Roman had been ecstatically relieved at this, engulfing Logan in a smothering hug and plastering his face with kisses, thanking him and telling him that he loved him. Logan could still remember stiffening, his eyes widening as realization set in. Roman had pulled back, it dawning on him that that had been the first time he had proclaimed such words. He had overwhelmed Logan, and it had never been his intention to do so. Hearing those words felt ... strange to Logan. He had never heard them said to him in a romantic sense, and in many ways, it was an entirely new concept to him because, by god, someone who he cared so deeply about loved him. That was revolutionary, and eventually, he got used to the feeling, enjoying the warmth that it filled him with.

Logan had figured that three months would fly right by, and he had expressed that they could video chat and call often. It was not a significant amount of time, Logan would be perfectly fine, even visit Roman a couple of times on the weekends when he was not working. It would be alright.

Except right now it didn't feel alright. It had only been nearly two months now and for a few weeks, Logan had not been able to shake the feeling of uneasiness that seemed to creep in on him in all hours of the day. He felt ill like something was seriously wrong with him, taking a toll on his mind and body. The bed seemed colder, wider with so much more space to fill, too much space for his body alone to be able to do so. Eating dinner by himself felt like its own kind of torture. Not hearing Roman's singing in the shower in the early morning felt eerie. Each phone conversation with Roman seemed all too short and the moment that he hung up, the emptiness would settle back into his chest. Logan felt broken, weakened by his affection for Roman. His head was spinning, hands shaking as his pacing ceased and eyes settled on the clock.

2:00 a.m. Too late for Roman to still be awake. He was probably sleeping just fine now, getting his rest. Logan could picture him and couldn't help but smile, picturing Roman looking so peaceful and still, as he almost never was when he was conscious, his hair tousled from sleep and face smoothed of worry or stress. The emptiness only seemed to become more expansive, his chest aching with longing. He just wanted to sleep, to be able to rid himself of this torture he had been inflicted with, but he couldn't.

Logan hadn't meant to exit the room, and he hadn't meant to go into the bedroom either. He wasn't supposed to pick up his cell phone and he certainly shouldn't have dialed Roman's number. He felt at war with himself, a battle inside of his mind, half of him reminding that Roman was sleeping at that it was late, and the other begging him to continue, desperate. He gripped the phone tightly, breath catching as the ringing ended and he heard a click. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Logan?" Roman's voice was tired, still layered with sleep and exhaustion. Oh god, he had woken him up. What was he thinking?! He didn't know what he was doing. His chest felt so tight, his thoughts seemed so jumbled, but the sound of Roman's voice made his heart melt.

"Roman ... hello ... I-I apologize for waking you. I ... sorry. I'll go-." His voice hitched with hesitation, face flush with embarrassment as he was about to end the call five seconds into it, like a prank-caller retreating when the joke had fallen flat.

"No, no. Wait, hang on," Roman interrupted with a yawn, beginning to become more alert, Logan could hear him shifting in bed, his voice still groggy, "What's going on? Are you alright, babe?" Logan swallowed thickly as if there were piles of cotton stuck to the inside of his throat, his face suddenly feeling very hot.

"I – I'm physically fine. I ... I feel foolish for calling so late. I-I don't know where my head is. I'll let you go, Roman. Goodnight."

"Hold on!" Roman said quickly, beginning to wake up, Logan blinking in surprise as his finger still hovered over the 'end call' button, "Just stop for a second, Lo. Something's the matter, I can hear it in your voice. Darling, what's troubling you?" Logan took a deep, trembling breath, realizing his hand was shaking terribly now, in fact, his whole body was. His voice felt weak, almost non-existent.

"I... I'm just feeling … more than usual. Couldn't sleep. That's all. I didn't mean to trouble you. I-I-I didn't mean to c-call,” he said softly, his voice breaking. Logan couldn't help it, he let out a small gasp as he felt a warmth against his cheek, realizing a tear had slid down his face. He was crying. What in the world had gotten into him? And how could he make it stop?

"Logan ...? Dear, are ... are you crying?" Roman asked, apprehensively. It had been extremely rare for Logan to cry and hearing him do so at such an early time in the morning over the phone was positively gut-wrenching. Logan let out a bubbly sound in his throat, trying to regain his senses.

"I-I ... I suppose I am. I-I didn't – I didn't t-think I would."

"Lo, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. Love, please?" Logan took a deep, trembling breath, squeezing his eyes shut as his lip quivered.

"I'm sorry ... I ... I miss you. I just m-miss you," he admitted quietly, shamefully. Roman let out a sigh sympathetically, wishing now that he could wrap his arms around Logan now and hold him close.

"Oh honey, I miss you too. I miss you so much, Logan. It's alright." Roman's voice was suddenly soft and comforting, a reassurance to his tone. In any other scenario, Logan might have described it as patronizing, but right now he was in such a lowly state that hearing Roman's voice at all seemed like a blessing in itself.

"B-but ... I'm not supposed to be like t-this. I'm not l-like this. I-I used to ... to know how to be on my own. I've ... I've never felt this way. It's ... f-frightening." Logan spoke in a shaking voice, fat hot tears running down his face. "I've... I've never n-needed someone like this. I haven't... Haven't e-ever loved somebody like t-this." Roman let out a sound of surprise, trying to contain himself as Logan's brain caught up with his mouth, the realization of what he has said hitting him only now. He'd just, in a fit of tears, admitted that he loved Roman for the first time. For so long he'd processed his feelings for Roman and how deep they ran and only now had he let it slip.

"Babe ... you love me?" When Roman had initially received the reaction, he had when he'd confessed his love to Logan, he had told him that there was no need for him to say it back right away. He had told him that he was content with them simply being together, and while that was true, actually hearing Logan say it was something that was incredibly surely and left Roman breathless. Logan paused a moment, jaw slack as he cleared his throat, trying to contain himself and cease his outburst.

"Yes. Y-yes, I do, very, v-very deeply, Roman. I ... I didn't even have a clue that I could be so dependent on a single person, but it's you, Ro. And now ... now I feel like a jackass for speaking this way," he admitted in a soft voice, becoming slightly steadier. "I'm sorry, Roman. I ... shouldn't have told you this. You're doing your shows, I had n-no right to burden you with my heightened emotions. I was the one to encourage you to take this job. God, how hypocritical can I be?" Logan asked with a heavy sigh, pinching his temple.

"Hey, darling, no. No. Don't say that," Roman said earnestly, "You have every right, to be honest with me. Logan, love of my life, mi corazón~," Roman drawled out in a flirtatious tone, earning a bright red blush from Logan that he would never admit it, "I'm glad you told me, honey. Really. I love you too, so, so much, and I miss you like crazy. It's alright that you're feeling this way, okay? There's nothing wrong with that.” Logan sniffled, exhaling a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in.

“It … it feels like there is.”

“And that’s alright too, Lo. But I promise it’s going to be okay. We’ll be okay. You’re coming down to visit soon, right? Next week?” Logan let out a shaky sigh.

“Y-yes.” Logan could practically see Roman’s smile.

“Then we’ll get to see each other then. And when the show is done, I swear to you this is the last far away production I’ll do for a while. I need some time with my Logy-bear,” Roman said affectionately, earning a groan from Logan.

“You know I despise being called that,” he pointed out grumpily, earning a light chuckle from his boyfriend.

“Huh, strange, I seem to remember a certain boyfriend of mine telling me he secretly liked being called Logy-bear? Am I mistaken?” Roman asked with a devious laugh. Logan groaned again, running a hand through his hair.

“Ugh, I was drunk. That doesn’t count,” he complained, before realizing he had stopped crying, his face dry of tears and chest feeling a little less compressed. He felt liberatingly better, though that was still not half as decent as he normally did. Even so, progress was progress.

“Whatever you say. So, are you feeling a little better now, nerd?” Logan let out a scoff, trying to suppress the urge to shout “prep” back like he usually would but it didn't seem the right time and he deciding against it, settling for a sigh.

“I … I suppose I am. A bit. I’m sorry for all of this emotion. I promise I will try to hold back on that,” Logan said, only half-joking.

“No need,” Roman response, “I’ll have you for what you are, all the messed up, gushy emotions you didn’t think you had and all. But really, there isn’t any need to apologize. It’s good that we talked, unorthodox time or not.” Logan hummed in response before yawning quietly. “Ah, looks like someone’s sleepy. I better let you get some rest, Lo. We don’t want your students to think you’re a part of the undead.” Logan suspired, albeit a bit suppressed that he actually was beginning to feel a bit drowsy.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” he said, sounding only a bit disappointed to end the conversation.

“Alright, I hope you have a nice rest, my love. I can’t wait to see you again.” Logan sighed longingly.

“I can’t wait to see you again either. I … I love you, Roman. Thank you, for everything.” Roman smiled contently on the other line.

“I love you too, darling. Incredibly so. And you’re very welcome. Goodnight.”

“Night, Roman.” Click. Logan held the phone to his ear long after Roman had hung up, his breath still slightly caught in his throat and mind still tangled with thought. Though there was still a significant weight on his shoulders, it felt as though a great portion of it had been removed, leaving some room to breathe. He let out a long sigh, setting his phone down and turning off the lights before crawling into the covers.

Roman’s absence from their bed was still noticeable, but it was not as unbearable as it had been before. He still longed deeply for his boyfriend, but their conversation had cleared away some of the doubt cluttering his mind. He’d confessed his love for Roman, and that in itself was incredible, and in truth, he was proud of himself for mustering up the courage as well as the understanding of his feelings, or at least a deeper knowledge. His anticipation for when he would next see his lover would be what would hold him over for another day. That night Logan slept soundly.

=+=


End file.
